What if you could become so aware of your own course, no-one could blow you off it.  You’d  make adjustments depending on what’s around.  Like a yacht tacking or plane making minor course directions.  Sometimes not even knowing where you’re heading. But your inner guidance system (IGS) guides you in a direction that's so right for you. 

If you’d asked me if this was possible in my 20’s I would have thought you were nuts. Now I know differently. 

Perhaps you already have yours honed and working for you. I honour you if you do. For lots of people I see, this idea is so far from their day to day reality. 

“Help!  You know I’ve been hanging out to work with those two companies?  I've got interviews with both.”  .You might relate to Jan's stream of thought that follows.

That’s awesome. What do you need?

“It’s not awesome. They’re same time,  different towns. I’m downing coffee and chips, haven't slept and feel crap. I can only do one . What if the other  turns out best?  What if I fluff up? What if I put them off?
I could lie to one, but no they'll find out? Why did they end up on the same day?  My dream situation feels like a nightmare. God, I wish I had a magic ball telling me what to do.”

Probably not Jan's situation, but I bet you've had times when your thoughts were in overdrive like hers.  

I remember in my 20’s being invited to two events at the same time, in different places. It felt important to be at both.  Now it’s not a biggie, but then I was stuck and stressed with the decision of who to say yes to.  I had no idea how to work out the best solution, or that it was even possible. The idea of letting someone down felt overwhelming at the time. I look back at 20 year old me with much compassion - she had a bit to learn!

Back to Jan’s classic thinking strategies. They fed directly to her stress and not knowing what to do. 

She’s was doing three everyday ways of being that were making it worse.
 1. Overwhelm -  feeling swamped, engulfed, and expecting to be written off by at least one of the potential employers
 2. Self Critical - expecting to fluff it up, offend people, not be offered another opportunity
 3. Make do with short lived solutions that aren’t really solving the issue (coffee, potato chips)

All of externally driven. And really common ways of being. So much so that doing them feels normal. 

When you’re externally driven (which lets face it, we all are at times) you’re focused on others. What they think, need, want as if your life depends on it.  Not necessarily literally, but it can feel that stressful. 

Jan wasn’t asking “what do I want, what the best for me, how can I turn this into a win-win, what other solutions are there?” Instead she felt stuck and focused on the other people. What she thought their needs, wants, desires were. Judging her worth on their reactions and feeling powerless. 

How did a competent woman end up in this way? You might be reading this seeing obvious solutions.  But Jan? When growing up if she said what she wanted she was seen as selfish, ego-driven, not a team player.  It was that part of her that was responding, not the competent her that most people see.

In her plea for help she wanted a magic ball to see what to do. 

The funny thing is we all have one (not literally) - an inner guidance system.  Not geographic, rather life essence, life path guidance.  

Learning to access and trust it is potent. 

I guided Jan to breathe into her heart-space. To let the competent part of her come back and explore solutions. To trust there was an easy way to resolve it, that she could relax enough to listen for it and invite it to work for her.

Sure enough, solutions came flowing in. She contacted one of the companies, explained she was out of town that day.  They brought forward the interview with a zoom call. Problem solved. 

And she was able to hug her inner wee one who was feeling overwhelmed. 

So what about you? 

Next time you're feeling overwhelmed or blown off course, breathe gently, call in the part of you that knows a solution and trust something will appear. You might not know what that is at the time, but give it space to show up.