"That’s it, I’m over my boss not supporting me, I want a New Job".

How was this recent client's boss not supporting her? He reminded her of a high-school teacher who embarrassed her when she gave a speech.

This is an example of the unseen things that can trigger anyone at work and at home.

As a leader it can be tricky to figure out what’s triggering you, let alone what’s triggering your staff or colleagues, or how to help them.

You most likely get triggered or activated at work from time to time. Pretty much everyone does. Why? What’s in you that gets you triggered? What’s in people around you that gets them triggered or behaving like they do?

This is a key thing to explore.

For example maybe as a child you were told you weren’t good enough. Now, as an adult you might not consciously think of it. Yet you might be triggered when someone gives you feedback that feels like they don’t think you're good enough.

Or maybe as a child someone put down your ideas. This now holds you back from sharing your wisdom at meetings.

When you’re interacting with your team members as a leader, there’s all these unseen parts of each person that lead to them being triggered, their nervous system going into overdrive, being activated. And it’s  what gets people reacting, responding, behaving, or showing up like they do.

As a leader you need to recognise these in yourself before you can support your team to recognise whats hidden in them. Much like putting your own oxygen mask on first.

By now you might be feeling a bit uncomfortable or squirmy thinking about how you might overreact, get upset, snappy. What’s really helpful is finding whats at the core of this

When we talk about people wearing a mask or putting up armour, we need to explore what’s leading to that. Not just the superficial what was immediately happening, but what are the core beliefs, experiences that lead them to perceive the situation that way. Often these date back way before they were employed at your organisation.

Choosing to look at what’s behind the mask can make a massive difference to relationships, connections at work, understanding other peoples behaviour, reactions, and the dynamics at play.

As a leader (whether for the team of you or a large team) when you courageously choose to look at this yourself, you open space for others to do the same, and to support each of your team members to feel supported, engaged, valued, belonging and help with a more positive culture.

Take a moment to think about what seems to be your triggers at work. And step back to look at whats triggered them. It could be something about your upbringing (a memory perhaps) or other experiences. Sometimes it helps to recall the first time you ever felt like that.

As you explore this in you, you might to able to notice what’s triggering those around you, and even whats behind that.

We'd love to know what triggers and underlying causes you’re noticing in you or your team.