You know those moments you create that are magic. Sharing something intimate with a friend when you catch up for a cuppa; going for a swim; a walk along the river or locking the door and soaking in a bath. Blissful moment away from your everyday life.
But then you get a phone call, or somethings happened with the family or work. How do you hold that blissful feeling when your stomach sinks and you want to run away?
One of my teachers described that feeling after a three-week trip kayaking the Colorado River in the Grand Canyon. Blissful, exhilarating, grounding, life-changing is how he put it. On the last night under a star filled sky, the guide pointed to the lights of the town they were arriving at the next day. “See those lights up there? That’s rim world. Just remember this is the real world - connected to nature, beauty, the real essence of you. You gotta think how you’re gonna stay real up in rim world”.
Now walking back into your home or work after a walk or cuppa is a bit different than a 3 week kayaking trip, buts theres lots of similarities. How do you keep that feeling in your everyday life?
Sometimes its not so much what you’ve walked back into, but the way you interpret it or what you’re doing that affects your mood and gets you wanting to run away.
We’ve discovered eight everyday things we all do, that actively block you from keeping that blissful feeling. The funny things is you probably do them so often you’re unaware of it.
As I explored this in my own life (as well as clients and professionals I mentor) I was amazed to discover how many of these I was still doing. And the way they instantly affected how I felt about life and my possibilities.
I wondered how many of these you might be doing.
Simple things like:
- Comparing yourself to others. "Why does she seem to have it together when I’m falling apart"?
- Judging yourself. Usually negatively.
- Making short term decisions that feel good at the time but not long term. Years ago I tossed the idea of fish and chips to the back seat crew between after-school drop-offs. The back seat reply? No, I’d rather have lentil soup, I feel better after that. (I so wanted a night off cooking, yet was relieved at their reply as I always feel grotty after eating fish and chips)
- Blaming others. I was talking with someone the other day who blamed their employer for not communicating well, rather than acknowledging they hadn’t taken the time to ask for clarification.
- Over-compensating. You’ll recognise this one if you ever feel guilty for being busy and “try” to make up for it.
- Habits and addictions. These can include exercise, eating, overworking, complaining as well as substances.
- Masking your truth. You do this every time you’re asked How are you? And you automatically reply “Great” when you’re not really.
- Feeling overwhelmed. And let’s face it at the moment many people are “competing” to be the busiest.
So next time you come home from a magic moment and get hit with something that’s happened, ask yourself if you’ve been doing any of these everyday ways of being. Without judging. And then look to see what alternatives you can do instead.
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